Great read!!

Great read!!  Read Less

Firstly a warning that this review is a bit academic in nature.I want to end positively so I'll start with the negatives - the ...  Read More

Firstly a warning that this review is a bit academic in nature.I want to end positively so I'll start with the negatives - the things that I believe will hold it back from a larger market appeal and that frustrate me because there is so much about this book I love.It needs more publishing editing attention. While I found no spelling mistakes there are some out of place words and there are some sentences that could do with reworking.There is a convention in fiction writing for tagging pieces of speech so you know who is talking and this is not it:The Emperor took her head between two hands and pulled her close: Poor Saygin. Poor, poor Sayginn. Let me protect you.I found the colons method of speech tagging distracting. A publishing editor should have changed this to something like:Poor Saygin, The Emperor took her head between two hands and pulled her close Poor, poor Sayginn. Let me protect you.or put 'said the Emperor' on the end of the speech. Granted this did not damage the understanding of what was written but I found it distracting.Story structure - there are well known an well observed rules regarding this which bestselling authors such as JK Rowling, Dan Brown, Suzanne Collins and many more observe to keep the dramatic flow going and ensure the right aspects of the plot, character and setting are exposed at the right time. The inciting incident which I presume to be “the son of empire” Teo’s kidnap (which is not spoiling the plot now the 3 part edition of this story carries this title) that should appear 20% earliest and ideally 25% into the story happens way too early at about 16%. Just as I was getting into the set up phase and enjoying (yes, I did enjoy this book) getting to know the setting and characters things suddenly kick off.Why is it too early?We don’t know enough about Teo and what is at stake when it happens which robs the inciting incident of dramatic impact. Following on from the event we get to learn more about why Teo is important (above the fact his mother loves him) and since the future of the Dome city is at stake we get introduced more to the Dome unfortunately after “the event”.Because this set up exposition comes later the plot slows down when we should be watching the protagonist and friends respond (mostly ineffectively if plotted right) to the inciting incident. It’s not the only flaw in the structure but that gives you an idea.Who is the primary protagonist in this story we should be focusing on rooting for?In the beginning we get Guy and Teo introduced, then after the kidnap the story is off mostly following Karl Valvanchi and the Regent Sayginn (Teo's mother) to the point I begin to wonder if the book should be titled after these two characters.It is 70% of the way into the plot before Guy and Teo (son of empire) meet properly and the main resolution to the plot seems to be Teo's actions (which are very cool).For a “5 star grabbing a bigger YA audience” point of view these are some of the problems in my opinion. Harry Potter may be about many characters that we may root for, but we always know most of all we are behind the boy who lived, or Katniss in the Hunger Games, or Bilbo/Frodo Baggins, or Robert Langdon in the Da Vinci Code or Luke Skywalker to pluck some of the biggest sellers out there as examples.I just don't know with Guy Erma and the Son of Empire because the plot just doesn't focus enough on either these two for me to know who I’m meant to focus of rooting for.OK the positives.There is plenty of action and for the most part the plot does move along at a good pace. The imagination behind the setting and characters is first class. I love all the cy-fauna, the Dome itself, Goran’s and the creepy emperor. There is a good sense of politics behind it all and Guy’s world as an orphan aspiring to the Dome Elite is very well realised with lots of little intriguing bit’s like the question of his parentage thrown in. I think there is a world here that could carry off many more stories.  Read Less